Do you have a stalker?

Stalking is a pattern of behaviour involving unwanted intrusions or communication on a person that leaves them feeling confused, isolated and living in fear. The acts committed against an individual can include engineering 'chance' meetings, sending over a hundred letters a day expressing affection, and even just frequently walking past the victim's house.   

Stereotypical images of stalkers are not always accurate. They are not necessarily shadowy, lonesome figures, they are often plausible people who may get unwitting help with their stalking from their own family and friends, and might target more than one victim at a time. 

If incidents have occurred and progressed to the point where you ask, do I have a stalker? Possibly the answer is yes. The first step is to let it be known that this person’s behaviour is making you concerned. Do not be in denial because that is exactly the position your stalker wants you in.

What you can do

Keep a log of information such as times you see your stalker and exactly what occurs.

Inform your friends and family of the issue, the more people who know that you are not comfortable with this person in your life the more they will observe the stalker’s actions and keep you safer.

Contact support services and get a restraining order or injunction.

If you have a restraining order on you keep it on you at all times, and pass copies out to your job and landlord along with a picture of the stalker.

Do not engage them, stalking is a form of control, and the stalker is rewarded by any reactions.

Do not respond directly; react by informing everyone around you how concerned the stalker makes you.

If you are being followed in your car, do not go home, go straight to the police or to a safe public place where you can get help and have witnesses.

In closing  

Information about the target is vital in stalking behaviour and forms the basis to any plan of harassment, threats or attack. We use a variety of preventative measures to restrict access to the targets personal information.

Do I have a stalker?

Does someone always seem to be hanging around when you are going to work, are out with friends, or locally?

Does someone making unwanted phone calls to your home or work?

Do you find signs that someone has been in or near your home, your car, or your workplace when you were not there?

Are you receiving repeated letters, gifts, cards, social media posts and/or emails even though you told the sender to stop sending them?

Has someone tried to get information about you from a third person like a family member, friend, or co-worker?

Is someone posting information or spreading rumours about you on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth?

If any of these situations are happening to you, talk to someone you trust or call the helpline.

020 3950 2303